How To Tell If Your Girlfriend Is Cheating

Is she cheating? What are the signs your girlfriend is cheating? These questions must have popped up if you feel or observed any suspicious activity.

Knowing how to tell if your girlfriend is cheating, and whether you’re with a cheating partner is important to every man because; the only thing worse than being cheated on is not knowing if it’s happening or not and for how long it’s being happening.

cheating girlfriend busted

Read How Do I Know If My Boyfriend Is Cheating On Me

When you meet the woman of your dreams, the last thing you are thinking about is what happens if she cheats on you. You so much love her that the thought of her cheating on you never cross your mind.

Your friends might say “hey man, you’re blinded by love, etc”. Naturally, people come together with a common goal of sharing their lives, but sometimes, for reasons people don’t always understand why one partner strays from the other.

Have you ever wondered why it is easier to cheat than to just break up and start clean? Nobody really knows, but it is common enough that the other partner is left wondering what happened and if it’s really true.

Read 25 Ways To Avoid Unfaithfulness In Your Relationship

It is common for the other partner to get a sense that something is wrong long before they know that their partner is cheating, but it’s difficult to confirm without actually coming out and asking!

The only way to know where you stand is to know the truth. But if she doesn’t just up and tell you, how can you tell if she’s cheating?

If the evidence is there, don’t ignore it, give her some space and look for signs she’s cheating elsewhere. To help sort through the deceptions and excuses, in this post we’ll show you how to tell if your girlfriend is cheating and give you signs your girlfriend is definitely cheating.

Here are ways to tell she’s cheating on you.

1. She pays much more attention to her phone than ever.

Sure, everyone pays attention to their phones these days, but if she is choosing to scroll through social media or respond to text messages and social chats instead of talking to you, you would be right to question her motives. Not just the attention given to her phone but also prevents you from seeing who she’s chatting with.

According to counselor and therapist, Dr. Tracey Phillips, ‘hiding things from you on their phone may be a sure sign of cheating’.

“They could be trying to avoid receiving any questionable calls or texts in your presence.”

It could be that she doesn’t even realize she is doing it, but if she is having an affair, you can bet that she will get defensive and insulted by the assumption that she is doing anything other than updating her post, etc.

Psychologist Weiss explains the possible scenarios in Psychology Today: “Cheaters tend to use their phones and computers more frequently than before and to guard them as if their lives depend on it.

If your partner’s phone and laptop never required a password before, and now they do, that’s not a good sign. Your partner suddenly starts deleting texts and clearing their browser history on a daily basis, that’s not a good sign.

If your partner never relinquishes possession of their phone, even taking it into the bathroom when they shower, that’s not a good sign.

2. She seems distracted/ She’s pushing you away for a reason.

According to David Klow, “if your partner’s actions start changing, then it might be a sign of infidelity.”

Your once all attentive girlfriend hardly look you in the eye these days. You find yourself repeating things to her because she’s not listening.

It’s hard for her to stay in the conversation and she’s always looking over her shoulder – checking if you’re monitoring her activity. If she’s cheating on you, you’ll find that she has disconnected from your relationship in one or many ways.

This is not to protect you, but to keep her from feeling guilty when she’s finally ready to break off. If she’s pushed you away already by your actions, it will be easier for her to say goodbye.

Or, if she decides she doesn’t have the guts to leave, pushing you away makes it easier for you to call things off.

Note that she’s pushing you away for a reason.

Read 11 Little Things You Do That Can End Your Relationship

3. She refuses your marriage proposal and gives a no sign beforehand.

You love her. You thought she loved you. You proposed and it was a hard no on her end. While you may be shocked by her response and certainly feeling rejected, there may be bigger reasons for that.

According to an online platform: Everyday Health if a person had doubts about moving in or getting married, it could be a sign of cheating.

Look at it this way - If she’s cheating, why get married? Of cause she doesn’t see the point of getting married because she’s not ready to settle in with you. So you may wonder why she doesn’t just break things off with you. Actually, this is another issue altogether.

You really have to consider the point of carrying on in the relationship if you want to be married and she doesn’t.

4. She’s not interested in getting physical with you anymore.

Lately, you feel it’s getting more difficult to get her interested in sex. This can be a sign of infidelity.

According to Sex expert Robert Weiss, “Both decreased and increased levels of sexual activity in your relationship can be a sign of infidelity. Less sex occurs because your partner is focused on someone else; more sex occurs because they are trying to cover that up.”

Relationships have their ups and downs, but if you feel like she is pulling away from you and not wanting to be intimate, and she doesn’t want to talk about it, there’s a strong reason.

Body language expert Patti Wood, says, “What you’re generally looking for in a cheat is a shift from

normal behavior. So, if they used to kiss and hug you all the time and suddenly that behavior disappears it’s a shift from the baseline” – something is up!

It’s a good idea to talk to her about your concerns with physical intimacy and ask her what’s going on.

You’ll be able to tell whether or not she’s cheating on you by her response: she’ll either tell you that she’s having a hard time right now or something to that effect, or she’ll get angry that you bring it up at all and not want to talk about it.

You may also notice a drop in public displays of affection. If your partner does not hold your hand the way they usually do or would usually invite you out but no longer do, they may be pulling away emotionally and physically gradually.

5. She is dressing way differently and not for you.

If your girlfriend suddenly cares about her appearance again after just walking around in a t-shirt and jeans and not putting much effort into a night out, something is definitely wrong.

“If your partner has had the same haircut for a long time but suddenly has a bold new haircut “this could indicate an effort to impress another person.”

According to Dr. Phillips, “If your partner comes home and jumps right into a long shower, they may be washing away any evidence of cheating.”

Sure, it might be that she is finding her confidence in herself again or for the first time ever but there might be a different reason for the change.

If you suspect it’s because she is seeing someone else and wants to look good for them, you may be right.

Change begets change and if she is running an errand for you or stepping out alone, she might put a lot of effort into her appearance so she can be attractive to her new guy.

Read 13 Surprising Bodily Traits Men Look For In A Woman

6. She’s talking way too much to someone.

This is perhaps the most obvious sign your girlfriend is cheating of them all.

Is she always chatting or texting with some new guy? Then, she’s probably cheating. However, keep in mind that it may not be all that easy to know if she’s talking to someone in particular.

It would take a particularly bold cheater to regularly text the other person right in front of you. It’s much more likely that the communication is not that straightforward. She may email instead of texting and maybe when you’re asleep or out or she may talk to them only while at work.

Read 12 Early Signs of a Manipulative Woman You Should Not Ignore

7. She’s always working.

One of the easiest ways to brush off your inquiries about her activities or I don’t care attitude is to simply blame it on work knowing you’ll keep your cool. But this has all the sound of a reasonable excuse right? Until you dig a little bit deeper.

If she’s working so much, what is the project? Did she get a promotion? Why is the boss keeping her late? These are questions you want to ask yourself and probably ask her.

If she doesn’t offer more information to make the situation a clearer and more realistic, there’s more to her story. It’s far more likely, she’s keeping the story short on details to avoid falling into a lie you can easily check out.

Start getting suspicious if she reacts negatively when you want to know more instead of laying the situation out in detail.

8. Her thought about the future with you has changed.

For instance, if she used to talk about the future and use words like, “we”, “you and I”, but now talks about things she wants to do alone, that’s a pretty good sign she’s has removed you from her future picture.

Even if she tells you that she didn’t mean to be selfish about her plans, be wary that she may just be covering her tracks using emotional words since they’re easily accepted as true.

Ramani Durvasula says “a major commitment makes it more difficult to pull out of a relationship quickly” - and this might be the reason for all the lies.

9. She’s too busy for you.

With reference to #7, if she’s got a full plate and no room for you to spend any time together, but you used to spend all the time together, something is definitely wrong.

Karina Wallace: “They may play it off as just a preference but if you have been together a long time and this is not normal then its something to pay attention to…It alone is not saying they are cheating, but it can be a good indicator if there are a few things changing concurrently.”

She may even be too busy to talk with you properly – that’s devastating.

People who might be cheating “tend to engage in sins of omission,” psychologist Ramani Durvasula says. “They operate on a ‘need to know’ basis, which is not healthy for a relationship.”

Read Annoying 10 Big Habits That Guys Hate-Ladies Watch Out!

10. She doesn’t make time for you anymore.

With reference to #7 and #9, what was once an intimate and fun relationship is suddenly so cold you need a winter jacket.

If your girlfriend isn’t looking to spend time with you anymore or asking you about your schedule, it might be because she is filling her days up with the company of other guy(s).

According to Robert Weiss Ph.D: “Flat tires, dead batteries, traffic jams, spending extra time at the gym, and similar excuses for being late or absent altogether might also signal infidelity.”

Ramani Durvasula, Ph.D: “The most interesting aspects of their day may relate to their new flirtation…This can be more devastating than sexual infidelity as it implies the intimacy of day-to-day life is now being shared with someone new.”

11. She doesn’t invite you out with her friends.

With reference to #10, one sign that your girlfriend might be cheating on you is if she is suddenly spending more time with friends, but leaving you at home.

If she isn’t inviting you out or is insisting that you stay home and watch the game, you might be right to be concerned.

Robert Weiss Ph.D., suggest that her friends may be uncomfortable with you around because they know what’s going on. “The cheater’s friends often know about the infidelity right from the start, and your own friends are likely to find out long before you do. This knowledge typically causes these individuals to feel uncomfortable whenever you’re around.”

Observe if she’s not giving you all the details about the get together either. Like not sure who will be there, not sure what time she’ll be home, not sure what the plan is, etc.

These are all signs that she is trying to play innocent and hide her affair from you and if you insist on going with her, she’ll get mad and might go on the extreme and conceal the outing – all in a bid to prevent you from showing up unannounced. It’s easier for her to keep you away from what’s really going on by playing safe if she still wants you around.

12. She changes the subject when a certain name comes up.

One way to know if something is up is by observing her reactions/body languages when a particular name comes up during a conversation.

Does she try to change the subject or act disinterested or dismissive after she’s spent time with that same person? Alternatively, does she gush about that person, even compare him to you, every time you bring his name up? This kind of behavior will suggest she’s interested in that person.

13. You’ve caught her telling lies on several occasions.

It might be hard to trust her anyway if you have already caught her telling you lies about who she is with, or where she has been.

Shirley Arteaga says: “There are usually signs of a cheating partner and if you trust your gut, you will be able to learn the answer quickly” and this is because the human body is amazing in its capacity for discerning the truth in others.

14. She’s got this new attitude of making all new friends, especially with opposite sex.

It’s always nice to make new friends, its part of our social development as humans. But suddenly she’s going out with a whole new group of friends without you being part of it, then, it’s time to worry.

If she’s hanging out with a new crowd, there’s a reason for it. It could be as simple as discovering a group that supports one of her interest and its possible she’s enjoying the company of another guy.

15. She’s obsessed with her privacy.

You wonder what’s keeping her so busy and you don’t know why she’s so much distracted recently and now that you are looking more closely into it by questioning her or observing her activities, she’s accusing you of becoming too inquisitive.

Everything is now her personal business. It’s off limits to you. Everything is a secret and you have no right to know anything since it’s her personal business.

In every game, the best defense is always a good offense. If she’s hiding something, the easiest thing to do is to start snapping that you are just being jealous and she needs space or she’ll say “you don’t love me” – emotional game.

You might want to have a rethink - you actually need to leave room for self-examination at your end - are you being jealous and too nosy?

If she’s gone from privacy conscious to paranoid, she’s probably trying to discourage you from looking too closely at her behavior.

Read Characteristics of Unhealthy Boundaries and their Effects

16. Her whereabouts is not your business as she doesn’t tell you where she’s going.

She’s all dressed up and ready to hit the road but you have no idea who she’s going with and she just brushes it off with a short answer like “just a few friends” if you care to ask.

It’s not that you need to know her every move, but it is common to ask questions and have an interest in what your significant other is doing.

If she used to tell you but now she is keeping you in the dark, something is wrong and could mean cheating.

17. She won’t tell you what she’s daydreaming about.

There are good reasons people get distracted. But if she has a good one, it may well be the truth. And if she’s refusing to explain her constant distraction or just outright denying it’s even happening, that’s a strong sign she’s hiding something.

This is true if your partner usually shares her feelings. So if she’s distracted and she doesn’t want to share what she is worrying over or hopeful over, there’s a good chance it’s because she’s got someone else on her mind.

18. She keeps her phone on high alert.

With reference to #15, she’s always suspicious you’re looking at her phone. She thinks you’re eavesdropping and leaves the room for some conversations or won’t answer her phone and when you draw her attention at her phone call, she’ll always give flimsy excuses why she doesn’t want to answer the caller.

She’s started to look over her shoulder to see if you’re reading her texts. She’ll always ask what are you doing with my phone and sometimes stylishly leave what they’re doing to stay with you so you won’t want to check out their text, etc and if possible find a way of distracting you with a whole new talk.

Now, she has every right to want to keep her phone to herself, but if she’s suddenly keeping it with her 24/7 just to be sure you aren’t looking at it, which is a huge hint she’s hiding something big.

19. She doesn’t kiss with passion anymore.

You probably don’t need an article to tell you she’s cheating if she isn’t kissing you at all anymore, but what about if she’s just not putting any passion into it? Confusing right?

When a girl loves you, you’ll see in everything she does including kisses. Like several of the signs your girlfriend is cheating listed in this article, this can just be proof of a problem in the relationship without it necessarily being cheating.

Read 20 Types Of Kisses And What They Really Mean

But beware, if there are problems that serious, it’s just one more piece of evidence she’s on the way out the door and maybe that she has someone waiting there for her or there is someone she’s seriously considering and detaching from you gradually is part of the game plan.

20. She suddenly becomes very jealous and suspicious of your moves.

With reference to #15, take note of #20. Not only is she accusing you of being jealous, now she’s constantly jealous as well.

She may start harassing you about every woman who passes on the street, insisting you were staring and it gets serious when they say “hi”.

And for any female friends or coworkers you have, they are all potential cheating girlfriends you are spending too much time with.

Despite complaints about her privacy, she may go so far as to grab your phone out of your hands every time you get a message or at least insist on knowing what every message and email is about.

Alternatively, she may get playful and try to tease you into admitting you find someone else attractive.

No matter how it manifests, this newly discovered jealousy is a very common symptom of someone trying to ease their own guilty conscience.

Turning you into the bad guy—or at least a guy with a mutual need to get out of the relationship—makes it easier for her to justify her own actions. It also helps push you further away, just like her need for privacy and her busy schedule.

21. She’s looking for reasons to fight with the “why.”

If it’s not jealousy, it is constant joy nagging.

·         Why don’t you dress well?

·         Why don’t you clean up?

·         Why do you always have to cook?

·         Why did you not pick the movie?

·         Why do you always have to choose the music in the car?

·         Why are you still in that dead-end job?

·         Why!!

The complaints can come in many different forms, but it all comes down to one thing: she’s telling you she isn’t happy. The relationship isn’t fulfilling her the way it used to.

Remember back then how she used to tell you she could excuse your faults, blah, blah. Now, they all stand out like stigma.

And if she’s not happy, she’s only telling you by constantly nagging, she has the right to start looking elsewhere.

Read How To Fight Fair In A Relationship And Grow Stronger

22. She has serious trouble saying “I love you”

You may be well beyond those early “I love you” days in the relationship, but if she looks a little queasy when she says “I love you,” she probably doesn’t mean it.

Watch to see if she tries to avoid saying the words–by changing the subject or just ignoring your effort.

Otherwise, she may just mumble the three syllables to get it over with.

If there’s no enthusiasm behind the most important phrase in your relationship, there’s a problem, whether it is cheating or not.

Read I Love You And Not Hearing It Back- How To Deal With It

23. She gets mad when you ask questions.

Unexplained mood swings could be a sign of cheating. Or, if she is even thinking about it, she’ll lash out at you and somehow make it your fault that you would even ask those questions.

According to Robert Weiss Ph.D., she may be pushing the blame onto you: “Cheaters tend to rationalize their behavior in their own minds. One way they do this is to push the blame onto you.

“Often, their internal justifications for cheating leak out, and they behave judgmentally toward you and your relationship. If it suddenly seems like nothing you do is right, or that things that used to not bother your partner suddenly do, or as if you’re getting pushed away, that could be a strong indication of cheating.”

People who are lying and trying to hide the truth will go to great lengths to keep themselves and their integrity safe. It’s not personal. It’s about their inability to face the truth.

24. She’s on edge all the time.

Even if you are just hanging out, she seems cranky or nervous. She might be having major feelings of guilt about her actions and she will project those feelings onto and try to make you feel bad for the way you are. She might not want to hold hands for some reasons too like not being seen by the other guy holding you and it could be for the guilty feeling.

You can tell if your partner is hiding something if “they are rocking back and forth” when they are chatting with you. This shows a sign of nervousness.

It’s a defense mechanism that many people employ to protect themselves and the other person. Rocking back and forth to the ordinary means nothing or just trying to be playful, but look closer.

Despite cheating on you, she still cares enough to try to protect you from what is really going on.

Read What To Do When You Badly Miss Your Significant Other

25. She’s developing a new personality.

People change over time, but usually the changes are subtle: a new interest here, a new habit there, a new viewpoint on one subject or another. If the changes are coming fast and extreme with your partner, she’s probably getting some outside influence.

It may not be another someone, but those kind of big changes suggest she’s not happy with the person she’s become, and that probably means she’s not happy in the relationship she finds herself in now.

26. She doesn’t want to cuddle anymore.

Not everybody is a big cuddler, but if she used to like sitting close on the couch together or holding each other before going to sleep, and now she’s gone cold, she’s sending you a major signal that all is not well in the relationship.

Sometimes, someone cools off because they are responding to what they see in their partner. So, make the effort a few times. Put your arm around her and hold her close. If she pulls away, she’s trying to get away in more ways than one.

27. She stops making eye contact.

There’s a lot of truth in the old expression “the eyes are the windows to the soul.” If she’s refusing to look you in the eye, it’s because she’s either lost interest in you or wants to hide something.

Keep an eye on where her gaze goes whenever topics turn serious. This is an easy way to determine if she’s being upfront with you.

28. She tries not to speak directly with you.

With reference to #22 and #27, it’s not just saying “I love you” that shows a relationship is open and communicative enough. A relationship can’t function without a direct line to each other’s thoughts/heart. If she’s shutting that down, she doesn’t want you to get a clear view of her inner life.

This gets to a point that a number of these signs your girlfriend is cheating hint at: she’s just not direct with you anymore.

29. How’s your sex life?

With reference to #4, if she’s cheating, the most likely answer is, “not good.” While, hypothetically, she might be keeping up her lovemaking with you and someone else, it’s far more likely she’s letting one bed get cold if she’s warming up another one.

If this side of the relationship is quickly disappearing with the last few signs above, you’re in trouble for any number of reasons, one of which is definitely a cheating partner.

In going through the above signs, it’s important to recognize that your significant other could display all these signs and still not be cheating.

It might not be cheating, but there is almost certainly something that you and your significant other to talk about.

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