What Did You Learn From Your Previous Relationship?

 

1. Be friends first before dating.

It’s good being just friends before taking it to the next level. With this, you’ll learn a lot about the person of interest and over time, make a good decision. You’ll easily understand your friend because they tend to be vulnerable around you since you came with the motive of friendship.

You’ll learn – what triggers their anger, check if there’s a trait or character that needs correction, etc. Anything you can’t tolerate when married should be noted and see if the person could become a better person or not.

Read: What Does a Good Relationship Look Like?

2. Long distance relationships are not for everyone, don’t force it.

Long distance relationships are really not for everyone. Don’t force yourself doing a long distance relationship if you cannot cope with the pressure of it. From experience, long distance relationship needs more time and energy. This does not entail no relationship require time and effort.

3. Accept yourself and never feel guilty about who you’re.

Yep, when we experience breakups, we ask ourselves the “W” questions. Why did it happen this way? What did I do wrong? Accept yourself and never feel guilty about who you are. It’s Important to have a good self esteem. The only problem is if you refuse to become a better person.

It’s annoying when your partner wants the best for you and the relationship. They’re putting effort into it but you aren’t. You want them to accept you the way you are in this current world of constant change.

They want you to know how to use the internet for better communication, etc but you decide to continue using Nokia 3310.

Relationships are constant learning. If you didn’t learn anything from your failed relationship, you just aren’t ready for a good one. Learn from your mistakes and move on. What did your partner complain about you? Have you really checked to see if they’re right? Have you decided to work on those things or you are still there saying “love me the way I am”?

4. Did you learn! Communication is important.

One of the best ways to know if someone truly cares about you is in the way they communicate with you. Communication brings trust, desire, admiration, care and improves the bond between partners.

One of the best ways to also end a relationship is in communication. The moment a once healthy relationship with good communication starts failing, check the communication – something must have gone wrong along the line.

So if your significant complained about how you communicate, did you try to put in effort at communicating more?

“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also”.

If they aren’t willing to talk things through, the relationship will eventually fail.

Read: How to Communicate Better For Healthy Relationship

5. Learn to notice little red flags in the beginning.

Love!!! Love could be blind sometimes.

“If you are blind by love, your eyes will open when you are married” - Bishop David Ibiyeomie.

Red flags could be seen in that very little thing they do. Just that you can’t see them because you’re blinded by love. Love is so strong that we really can’t see what is cooking right in our nose.

So, did you see a red flag in your previous relationship but ignored it hoping your partner will change?

Read: The Red Flags To Look Out For In Your Relationship

Read: What To Do When In A Verbally Abusive Relationship

6. Time. Love people who consistently make time for you.

With reference #4, Love people who consistently make time for you. Remember, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also”. So be go to love those that make out time for you. And the easiest way to discard their friendship is also in #4. Stop communicating with them. Back to you, which will you prefer? Have genuine friends who will tell you white is white and black is black or those that won’t tell you as it is? Those that give you all the best advice you need any day and provide you with any information they know will make you better or those that are in your life adding no value to your existence.

“Learn to love people who consistently make time for you”.

7. Learn to love yourself so that you don’t depend on people to do so.

With reference to #6, it’s good you love yourself but be grateful to those that make time for you.

“Self love is key for a healthy living”.

8. Learn to let it go when things don’t work out – don’t force it.

9. Having a life outside the relationship.

Did you learn to have a life outside the relationship? Did you depend totally on your significant other for all your happiness and life satisfaction? That’s so wrong. Where were they all this time? What were you doing with your life before they came onboard. What about your friends, hobbies, etc.

Don’t allow your happiness and life’s satisfactions depend totally on the existence of your relationship. Instead, your healthy relationship should compliment your happiness, etc.

Read: 12 Ways To Bond With Your Partner For Better Relationship

10. Work on your short comings before getting into a relationship.

Did your “EX” draw your attention at anything that needed work be done on? Have you done anything about it? Do you still have the mind set of “love me as I am”?

Work on yourself for a better relationship else, it’s still going to fail.

11. Have an exit plan when you start noticing red flags.

With reference to #5, it’s necessary to plan your exit the moment you notice these likely unchangeable red flags.

It’s actually quite easy if you tell your flaws at the beginning instead of saving them for later. Note: red flags are not the same as flaws. Here's a definition of red flags: “Something your partner does that indicates a lack of respect, integrity or interest towards the relationship” 

If you constantly have to address the red flags in your relationship/partner, it’s about time you respect yourself and take a bow.

12. You can’t change someone who doesn’t want to change.

Obviously, you might need to go with #11 because if all your talks fall on deaf ear, then taking a bow might be your only option.

Read: The Negative Effect Of A Toxic Relationship

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