What Causes Jealousy In Every Relationship

“Since the dawn of time, jealousy has been as prevalent an emotion as love.”
Although it’s not our intention, sometimes we are most jealous of those we love. But if we realized what is at stake, we would make conscious effort to shy away from this negative feeling.

Read: 21 Signs of A Jealous Man You Don’t Want To Overlook

At some point in our lives we all feel jealous or envious towards other people, but it is when we start acting on those jealous feelings that it becomes unhealthy and potentially dangerous.

Perhaps the rage of jealousy is not quite as romantic to talk about or express if you possess it, but it is inevitably something we all feel to some degree but prefer to keep silent about. When we become consumed with the pervading idea that we lack things or love and affection as we wish, we slowly become blind to what we already have, and we become ungrateful for those gifts.

Let’s stop to define jealousy, which is either resentment of someone enjoying success or advantage, or is the fear of losing something you feel is yours (rightly or wrongly) to someone else—your spouse, your best friend, etc.

"Jealousy seeks to prevent loss.”

“Perhaps he’ll fall in love with his receptionist and not me,” “She’s going to lunch with Michael again, obviously she’s attracted to him,” “Obviously she’ll get the promotion” Whatever movie we have created in our heads, we will always find people or situations to support our story.

So, what is the story you tell yourself? Do you believe that you are unlovable and soon your partner will find you out? What is at the core of your jealous feelings? You really need to find this out if you must overcome jealousy.

Note that “Nothing can ruin a relationship faster than jealousy.”

No one wants an overly jealous partner, sibling, colleague, or friend and nobody enjoys feeling jealous or living out his or her jealousy with hurtful behavior.

The question is: How can we overcome Jealousy?

1. Communication.

You must first know yourself if you truly want to overcome Jealousy. Be emotionally intelligent with your emotions and those that are important to you, because no one can read your mind. If you are feeling jealous, be open with yourself about your intentions.

Do you feel more deserving to be in that new position at work? Do you have cause to think your partner is cheating? Very often we are unaware of what is going on subconsciously. It is up to you to find the root of your insecurity and then address it. Don’t hide what it is. It doesn’t have to be a deep secret that you carry.

Read: How to Communicate Better For Healthy Relationship

2. Trust.

Jealousy comes out of a lack of trust; lack of trust in the process of life, in your partner, in yourself. Lack of trust breeds insecurity, which creates Jealousy. We stifle these feelings because they are uncomfortable.

It’s a vicious circle, and as long as our thoughts and energy are clearly focused on what we could lose, that is exactly what will happen. This is the cold hard truth about jealousy: It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.

“It’s a vicious circle, and as long as our thoughts and energy are clearly focused on what we could lose, that is exactly what will happen.”

3. Take action.

It is paramount that we prevent ourselves from fixating on what we don’t have and rather shift our perspective to the fact that our desires can and are revealing themselves through our daily actions. The big question and hard truth is, “How are we spending our days?” What we desire should be a source of inspiration, which provides us with the power, motivation, and ability to work toward our goals.

Know that jealousy can be a powerful tool if we use it to propel ourselves to get what we most desire, instead of being afflicted with envy. Use the energy of envy to work towards what will bring you more of what you desire and less of what you feel you lack.

Emotions are simply something we experience, but we do not have to become them. See jealousy as a signal that something in you warrants your awareness, bring it to your consciousness and use it to bring about positive changes.

Read: How To Build Emotional Intimacy In A New Relationship 

Picture: Pexels.