Guilt is an emotional torture we impose on ourselves when we consciously or unconsciously overstep one of our learned ideals or beliefs especially the once we hold dearly. There are various signs or symptoms of this self-scolding feeling we get.
These symptoms range from minor discomfort
to substantial feelings of self-doubt and despair, and thus it’s one of the
most common reasons people seek help since they can’t let go of the
guilt they feel. Mind you, it is better to feel guilt than not. This means the
victim is willing to love and to be loved. It is a sign of wanting to be a
better you.
Though excess guilt is one of the greatest
load or weight one can carry in the mind. It enslaves the mind deeply and
it has the power of rendering once relationship handicap. Luckily,
just as weight loss programs or exercises help to reduce body size, a change in
how you handle your thoughts and actions can help you shed excess guilt for a healthy
relationship.
Here are the ways to let go of Guilt in a Relationship
1- First off, the feeling of guilt is a
positive sign you want a better relationship. Some people can’t hold up for a
moment once they feel guilty. Here, acknowledgement
of the feeling is paramount. Know what caused the guilty feelings maybe from
you or your partner / spouse and work on it. Try not to make same error or
mistake again to avoid such feelings from reoccurring. Some people feel guilty
for the wrong of their partner especially if they did what they did because of
their absence. In other words: they were not there for their partners.
2- Focusing
your initial feelings of guilt into constructive action is a valuable
achievement. When you accept your feelings and also knowing the source of the
feeling is great. Now use this feeling to achieve something more valuable by
focusing your initial feeling and strength to be better by your next step of
action.
3- Don’t
let the feeling of guilt become a barrier or negative boundary in your
relationship. There is no reason to feel continuously guilty for making a mistake.
The guilty feeling can set up some negative boundaries unconsciously in a
relationship if not well checked. I have always mentioned that there are no
perfect humans. Making mistakes show that we are humans and are striving to be
better each day.
4- Apologies
are another powerful tool. Feeling guilty about something you did or not mean
you have a good heart. Don’t be ashamed to apologize even for what you did not
do. Once you have that guilty feeling, apologize. It won.t change your integrity
but rather increases it. Apologies are signs of great strength only to
the brave and wise one. Cultivate the habit of apologizing to your partner once
you realize you have hurt them in some way.
5- What
lesson have you learnt from the cause of the guilty feeling? Again mistake
are inevitable though they can be reduced to a minimal level. But what is
essential is the lesson you learnt from what played out and work towards
ensuring that it is not deliberately repeated.
6- Move
on: Every one of us is guilty in some way or time for various reasons. Don’t
remain in the dark and lonely room because of your error. Moving is important
especially when you have learnt one or two lessons¸ apologized and so on. Move on to love
your partner else all you have learnt will end up in the waste.
7- In self-improvement, don’t play the blame game. The blame
game could boomerang and you will be wrongly judged. Some people like passing
guilt and blame on to others. Beware of this and for no cause should you
do this in your relationship. It will make your partner withdraw.
8- Make
positive changes and let them be physically evident in your attitude. Let these
changes be as a result of the love you have for yourself, your partner and the success
you want for your relationship.
9- Avoid
self-hate: You make things worse when you hate yourself. When you hate
yourself as a result of the guilt, you deny yourself any chances of growing
from the experience. Avoid self-hate and give yourself another chance to be
better. (Forgive yourself)
10- Talk
things through with your partner or someone you can confide in. this has
always help. When you feel guilty about something or for any wrong doing from
you or your partner, talking things through could be one of the best ways out. Listening
partners do play essential role when it comes to talking things through. Let your
partner know how you feel about what you did or what they did. Ensure the
atmosphere is conducive enough to talk. The right environment is key as it
could aid listening.
Picture: Pixabay
Questions: Then ask
Please share to
help someone
With love
How to let go of Guilt in a Relationship
Reviewed by Juilal
on
15:38
Rating:
Reviewed by Juilal
on
15:38
Rating:
No comments: