Everyone of us at some point dreamt of a marriage/home where it’s all peaceful. A home you retire to after a hard days job. A home where your troubles just vanish into the thin air.
A home where our kids come running at the sound of
our voices seeing their faces glow each day. A home where our spouses are none
compared to angels. A home where our spouses are just made for us.
Unfortunately,
many only dream of this without working it out. They want their significant
other to be well baked already. They forget in life, baking never ceases.
Some
have this perfect picture in their heads of the type of partner they want to
spend the rest of their life with. They don’t realize that they are also not
perfect. Yet they crave for the perfect spouse.
Some
get most of their Mr and Mrs perfect from romance movies, novels etc and refuse
to accept what is obtainable in the real world.
Some
right from their teenage to adulthood, they still keep dream of the perfect guy
or lady and when they eventually get into a relationship, they act the romance
movies they had in their head.
But,
peaceful homes are achievable only if you jealously follow the below secrets of
actualizing it.
The Secrets To A Peaceful Relationship -
Home are listed below:
1.
Your spouse has a weakness.
There
is no human without a weakness and the earlier you realize this, the better for
you.
There’s
no strength without a weakness. So if you focus on your spouse's weakness you
can't get the best out of their strength. And guess what? There’ll be no
peaceful home.
2.
Every relationship / marriage has its own challenges.
Wake up: Marriage is not a bed of roses. Every good
marriage you see has gone through its own test of fire. A trying time. A time
when others gave up on the marriage. A time one of them almost gave up.
True love proves in times of challenges and it
doesn’t mean you’ll sit, cross your legs and watch things degenerate. You have
to fight for your marriage.
Make up your mind to stay with your spouse in times
of need because it’s just a phase. You don’t know what is at the other side of
a coin until you flip it over. Exercise patience and do the needful while
waiting.
Remember the vow “for better, for worse”. “In sickness and in health”.
3.
Everyone has a shady history.
Are you an angel? When in a relationship and want you
want to get married or already married, it’s good to know some vital things
about the persons past and let it be the necessary aspect of the person and stop
digging into someone's past like you’re drilling for crude.
What matters most is the present life of your
partner. Please don’t get me wrong. The past is necessary but not like you’re
mining for oil.
4.
There is no faultless marriage on earth.
Get this now: there is no off the rack marriage.
Marriage is hard work and I mean hard work.
You must decide to work daily on your marriage. This
cut across every area of both lives.
Marriage is like a generator set that needs regular and proper maintenance or servicing for it to keep functioning. If the scheduled maintenance or servicing is not done, it’ll break down when you need it the most. Thereby: exposing you to danger or some harmful situation.
Don’t be careless about your relationship/marriage.
Marriage is like a generator set that needs regular and proper maintenance or servicing for it to keep functioning. If the scheduled maintenance or servicing is not done, it’ll break down when you need it the most. Thereby: exposing you to danger or some harmful situation.
Don’t be careless about your relationship/marriage.
Servicing your marriage is quite easy only if you
want to. And to have a peaceful home, you just have to keep up with the
schedule maintenance of it.
Some of the ways to keep up with the maintenance
includes:
Appreciating your partner, Regular dates, Spend quality time with
your spouse at home, Be handy in the house, Good communication, Understand your
spouses mood per time, Avoid disrespectful behaviors, Respect your in-laws,
etc.
5.
Every marriage has different levels of success.
Hmmm, this is so true. As long as all fingers aren’t
equal, so are marriages. But you could achieve your marriage dreams only if you
focus on achieving them without comparing your marriage with anyone else.
The moment you start comparing your marriage with anyone else, you start seeing your marriage as a failure.
Yes, we all want the best for our marriages, you
just have to work it out gradually and at your own pace. Marriage X might be
running at 280km/h while you can only do 90km/h. don’t stop, just keep moving.
It is important not to compare your marriage with
another to avoid marriage stresses. When you compare, you might end up
accumulating unnecessary stress on your partner which will eventually have
negative impact on your marriage.
Be patient and work things out and before
long, your marriage dreams shall come true. Wink!!
6.
To get married is declaring fight.
Lots of young and single people see marriage as a
means of escape. But they are so wrong. Marriage is a fight. There’re so many
things you must fight for to enjoy the peace you dream of and some of them are
listed below:
*Ignorance- some people have little or no idea of
what they have gotten into and how to relate with others.
*Unforgiveness- some people find it difficult to
forgive their partner when they wrong them. If you can’t forgive, then you
aren’t ready for a peaceful home.
*Third party influence- this in most cases will
always come. Some people are in the habit of poking into peoples biz. They like
knocking at the door uninvited. So, how do you manage these uninvited guest?
*Stinginess- goodness: if you’re stingy, you just
aren’t ready for a peaceful home. If you notice it’s your significant other
that’s stingy, you might need to talk with them gradually so they don’t
withdraw completely.
*Stubbornness- yes. Some of your think the best way
to prove a point is by being stubborn. You just aren’t ready yet. Get a good
means of communication and communicate with your spouse rather than being
foolishly stubborn at the expense of the peace you desire.
*Lack of love- how do you expect a peaceful home
when there is no love? I know when married, the love flame diminishes with
time. The good part of it is that you can always rekindle it. Refer to #4 above
*Rudeness- you talk to your spouse rudely and expect
them to act like angels? Wake up!!
*Laziness- I don’t have much to say on this. You
should know better.
*Disrespect- of cause, just like stubbornness and
rudeness, what else do you expect.
*Cheating- gush, it’s like playing hide and seek.
Why? Do you know when you cheat on your spouse, you end up not trusting yourself?
Everything your partner does becomes questionable because you’re questionable.
If you feel your spouse doesn’t do those things you
love like the way a lady out there dresses that got your eyes all popped out,
make your wife dress that way.Buy her those clothes and she’ll wear them just
for you.
If you feel more loved by another man, talk to your
husband about his love for you and he’ll change because he’s got brains.
7.
Every marriage is an investment.
Marriage is like a business venture. The amount of
money, time and effort put into it will determine the profit. If you don't invest
love, peace and care into your marriage, what’s going to be your profit?
8.
Marriage is not a business deal.
If you want a peaceful home, you must recognize that
marriage is not a business deal that you can terminate at will.
It is permanent and when you start seeing it this way, you will want to work towards achieving a peaceful home.
It needs 100% commitment. Love and respect are the only
glue that stick couples together.
Divorce starts in the mind. Never ever entertain
thoughts of getting a divorce. Never threaten your spouse with divorce. Choose
to remain married. It’s a choice you alone can make.
9.
Marriage is taking risk.
This is actually true. You really can’t envisage
what will happen in the nearest future. That is why it is good to live each day
at peace because situations may change. Also leave room for adjustments each
day.
Above all: Be prayerful.
Picture: Pexels
9 Boost For A Peaceful Relationship - Home
Reviewed by Juilal
on
09:18
Rating:
Uncle J my question is why is marriage a complicated issue? Why does it seem difficult to sustain? Why isn't it lovey dovy all the way?
ReplyDeleteThanks!!
ReplyDeleteMost relationships lack tolerance and compatibility, making marriage very complicated and sometimes aggressive.
Other things that could make marriage complicated includes money, expectations, lack of empathy, taking each other for granted, bad communication, disrespect, lies etc.
Marriages don't become complicated overnight. Most often it starts off as relationship anxiety which develops from physical abuse or trust issues.
Marriage isn't really ddifficult to sustain if compatibility and understanding is present.
You can make your marriage lovey dovy all the way only if you recognize it's an investment and you are wwilling to keep investing.
Guess my next post will be on this.
Hope you'll come again.
Thanks for the insight. Looking forward to your next post
DeleteYou're welcome dear. I'm sure you'll love it.
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