Successful couples are know-how; they always sought for ways to be better. They read books/articles, attends couples seminars, get mentors for marriage and observe how and what other successful couples do.
Note
that all successful couples also learn from their experiences in marriage from
the help of the following secrets and these secrets aren’t changing anytime
soon. So the earlier you recognize and accept them, the more pleasurable your
marriage will be.
1.
Anyone you marry has a flaw
There’re
no perfect human on earth. Except you’re daydreaming or in the movies where you
see perfect prince charming /princess of all flawless character. So if you
focus on your spouse's weakness or flaws, you can't get the best out of their strength.
2.
Everyone has a history
Are
you an angel? If not, your significant other isn’t an angel too. When you get
married or you want to get married, stop digging into someone's past like a
detective looking for errors from their past. This doesn’t mean you won’t check
them out, yes you will. But not like someone whose mind is made up on searching
for their biggest life time error.
What
matters most is the present life of your partner, how compatible you are, if
they have you in their future, etc.
3.
There’s no marriage without a challenge
Marriage
is not and will never be a bed of roses. But you can make it one if you choose
to. Contradicting right? Every good marriage out there has gone through a testing
time or time of trial.
You
prove your true love for your partner in challenging times because they must
come. How prepared are you to fight for your marriage? You just must fight for
your marriage. You might ask why or how? You have to fight for what you love
and protect it. Fighting for your marriage also means making up your mind to
stay with your spouse in times of trials. This may include finance, health
challenge, housing, children’s need, etc.
4.
Success of marriages differ from one another
Greatest
of marriage killer is judging your marriage against another. We often forget we
didn’t get married to those marriages but our partner and we didn’t get married
the same day. Even at that, our understanding of marriage differs, so also our
preparedness.
Also
note that you don’t know the amount of sacrifices marriage A or B has
sacrificed over time. So don't compare your marriage with another. We can’t be
equal since our fingers aren’t equal. Some will be far, some behind. Just like
on a journey, we depart a place at same time but arrive at our final
destinations at varying times.
Marriage
stress must come. But to avoid them, be patient, work hard and with time your marriage
dreams shall come true if you have one.
5.
Successful marriages work with dreams/goals
With
reference to #4, your marriage will likely fail if it has no dreams/goals or
vision to run with (write the vision and make it plane).
So,
instead of comparing other successful marriages with yours, write down a
realistic goal for your marriage, let your partner understand this goal so you
too can work towards achieving it. Don’t forget, challenges will come, but your
dream/goals with love will keep you going.
6.
To get married is declaring a fight
With
reference to #3, when you get married, you’ve just declared a fight against
enemies of marriage. Dear, there’re lots of marital enemies out there and some of
them are:
Ignorance,
Un-forgiveness, Third party influence, Stinginess, Stubbornness, Lack of love, Rudeness,
Laziness, Disrespect, Cheating
You
must be ready to fight to maintain your marriage zone.
7.
There is no perfect marriage just like there’re no perfect human
With
reference to #5, there is no readymade marriage like readymade clothes you just
peak from the shelf, put on and go.
Marriage
involves work and work and work. Marriage is hard work and I mean it. You must
be ready to work daily on it just the way you water flower. Marriage is like a
car that needs proper maintenance and proper service. Marriage needs care, just
the way you care for your looks.
If
you don’t take care of your marriage like a car, it’ll break down somewhere on
the highway, exposing the owner to great danger or some unhealthy conditions
that may cost them their life.
8.
You won’t get a complete person you desire
With
reference to #1, it’s like a natural law that you can’t get a complete or
perfect partner. No matter how much they look beyond perfection, there’s always
something you won’t totally agree with about your partner. In a way, you get the
person in the form of raw material for you to mould and craft the person that
you so desire and this is real love.
This
can only be achieved through love, patience and proper communication.
9.
Getting married is taking risk
All
about life is risk, so is marriage. It is not exempted from the equation. You
can’t foresee what will happen in the future but to work and hope for the beast
all day. Situations do change so leave
room for necessary adjustments. Several changes can occur in a marriage.
Finance could be affected if a partner loses their good job. What if you fail
to have babies? We all want the best in our marriages, hence we must be
prayerful otherwise you might divorce at the slightest snap.
10.
Marriage is not a contract
It’s
so unfortunate that many view marriage as a contract. And sure, contract can be
terminated any time. The earlier we change our mindset on marriage, the better
for everyone. Marriage is permanent deal. That’s where the fun is. Marriage
needs total commitment.
Love
is like glue. It sticks couples together happily ever after.
Note
that divorce start in the mind, fed and harvested in the mind before coming to
reality. Don’t entertain thoughts of a divorce and don’t threaten your significant
other with divorce.
Decide
to remain married.
11.
Every marriage has a price to pay
Marriage
is like your bank account. It’s what you have/deposit in the account you can
withdraw at will. If you deposit love, peace and care into your marriage, you’ll
enjoy all of it. But if you can’t deposit all of the above, you’re not a
candidate for a pleasurable marriage.
12.
Marriage crises doesn’t mean it’s over
Like
the seas roaring, so is storm in marriages. The oceans can’t exist without
ripples, so are marital storms. They’re there to test your love for your
spouse.
These
storms may sound very loud, scary and sure dangerous. But to get through, you
have to keep your head up and keep stirring the wheels. Most often, it’s out of
great pain that people succeed in life including marriages.
13.
Love is not just a feeling
Over
time in marriage, feelings of happiness could fluctuate but true love is based
on couple’s decisions about their commitment to each other. “for better… - when
it’s all good and when it’s terrifying”.
13 Secrets To A Successful Marriage
Reviewed by Juilal
on
10:48
Rating:
Reviewed by Juilal
on
10:48
Rating:
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