12 Warning Signs Of Gaslighting You Should Not Ignore

Gaslighting is a scheming tactic used by individuals for their selfish interest. In most cases POWER and CONTROL.

Read 8 Successful Ways To Extinguish Gaslighting
A Gaslighter uses gaslighting to gain more power, remain dominate to avoid being challenged by their partner or subordinates at work. And in so doing, they make their victim question their senses.

Gaslighting is done bit by bit so the victim doesn’t know they’ve been completely brainwashed. They act and do all they do believing it’s the right thing they’re doing. Anyone can be gaslight and it is used mainly by abusers (relationship), dictators, those suffering from narcissistic disorder, and cult leaders/members to recruit new members.

Read The Effects of Narcissist in a Relationship

There’re men who manipulates their wife to the point where she thinks she is gone naught.

Read Signs And How To Fix A Manipulative Relationship

Unfortunately, Gaslighting is fast becoming an unconscious norm in our society. The earlier we recognize these warming signs, the safer our society. Gaslighting has caused many their lives, loved ones etc.

Politicians use it to manipulate their followers. Have you ever wondered why a politician that didn’t represent properly get re-elected to run for office second time? Why will an abused partner remain in their relationship and never had the thought of quitting? Why will a molested child remain silent? Why do parents use this method to check their children?

Here are the warning signs of gaslighting you should not ignore.

1. They set your mind into a state of confusion.

Gaslighters are pretty good at their games. They intentionally set in confusion into your mind because they know that people like having a sense of mind stability and normalcy. Hence they look for ways to uproot your mind stability and make you constantly question yourself.

Generally, we all have the tendency look to/for the individual (friend, colleague, partner, etc) that will help us feel more stable and normal. A gaslighter know well how to fit in first, then gradually work on your mid.

Have you seen a self-dependent, out spoken, intelligent lady who suddenly can’t do anything without her partners’ approval? Seems she suddenly has doubt on everything around her? Or she’s becoming more of a zombie? Check her partner.

Read The Negative Effect Of A Toxic Relationship

2. They wear you down gradually.

The effect of gaslighting is gradual. A lie here and there and soon it starts ramping up. Even the most self-aware people can be sucked into gaslighting only to realize after much damage had been done.

Gaslighting heat turns up slowly, damaging your mind and it might take ages before one realizes what's happening.

3. They tell unashamed lies.

They’re aware you know the truth and yet lie about the truth. They tell you this lie with a straight face and a strange boldness that leaves you confused. You’re not sure if anything they say is true anymore.

If in a relationship with this kind of person, it’s really a red flag you don’t want to joke with. You end up not trusting them. That is if you have enough time before being completely brainwashed and believing whatever lie they say as truth. That’s how powerful gaslighting can be.

4. They say a thing and do another.

One of the easiest ways to know a gaslighter is if their words are always different from their actions. Is their everyday action different from their words? Do they keep to their promises?

You need to focus on what they are doing rather than what they are saying because they are good pretenders/liars.

It’s worthy of note that what a gaslighter say means nothing because it’s mere talk and everybody talks. What they are doing is what you should weigh up.

5. They always refute.

You’re 100% sure you know they said what they said but they completely refute ever saying it. Sometimes, to get into your mind, a gaslighter may ask you to prove your claim.

Knowing you only have your memory of the conversation you had with them, soon it starts to make you question your memory/mind.

You begin to wonder if the gaslighter is right, maybe they didn’t really say what you remember or you didn’t hear then well enough.

6. They’ll always use what you love against you.

Ever wondered why your significant other always uses what you love to attack you or question your abilities?

Gaslighters are good at using what is closest to you against you. They see your passion for that which you love and also love to see you lose it. If you love your job, they will find issues with that job. If you love cooking, a gaslighter will look for ways to make you hate cooking or look for what to keep you busy so you don’t have to cook.

Gaslighters are haters!

7. They know how to switch things.

They are a cheat, yet they constantly accuse you of that, etc. This is done to cause distraction so you remove your focus on the main issue while defending yourself.

Read What To Do When In A Verbally Abusive Relationship

8. They confuse you with positive applause.

A gaslighter cuts you down gradually like a tree. This moment they say you don't have value and the next they’re singing your praise.

This on and off behavior will add an additional sense of uneasiness in the relationship. You start thinking, "maybe they aren't that bad." Dear, they’re bad and very bad.

It’s a calculated attempt to keep you in their self-centered nest forever.

Ask yourself what you were praised for. I’m sure it’s something that served the gaslighter and you just couldn’t see it.

9. They present themselves holier than thou telling you everyone else is a liar.

This is a strong way of manipulating others. Especially those who don’t know how to differentiate between truth and lies.

These individuals got some guts; they carry some kind of authority so you end up listening to them without a second thought. You've never known someone with the audacity to do this, so they must be telling the truth, so you think. You’re wrong because it's a manipulation technique. It makes people turn to the gaslighter for the "correct" information which isn't the correct information. They do this to remain relevant.

10. They tell you things people didn’t say against you.

Gaslighters are masters at their craft. They make friends with people they know will stand by them no matter what and they use these people against you. Note: This set of friends aren’t your friends so you can’t walk up to them to challenge what the gaslighter claim they said about you.

To get at you, gaslighters will make comments such as, "Vincent knows you're not right about this," or "Mr Frank knows you're useless." Note: it doesn’t mean these people actually said these things but a lie told by the gaslighter.

This tactic is used to make you feel you don't know who to trust or turn to anymore and that’s what they want because you’ll come back to them. Isolation gives them total control of your mind.

11. Open humiliation.

 A gaslighter exhibit complete lack of shame or remorse for their actions. They talk to you rudely in public places just to get under your skin so that you’ll react rationally to confirm #12 below. This personality disorder is loosely defined as a person with “no conscience”.

Read Why Are Present Day Marriages Complicated

12. They tell people you’re crazy.

This is the highest form or level of manipulation and it’s one of the most effective tools of the gaslighter.

The gaslighter is sure if people question your sanity, they’ll not believe you when you tell them your partner/friend is abusive etc.

NB: Gaslighters are everywhere (your significant other might be one, a colleague at work, a friend, etc). But the more you’re aware of these techniques, the quicker you can identify them and avoid falling into their snare.

Picture: Pexels.