Public humiliation has become so common among young people that they’ve got slang and body languages to humiliate people publicly for fun thereby damaging their victims self confidence. You might hear “throwing shade” or “trash-talking,” etc which can also mean gossiping or saying bad things behind one’s back and sometimes to their faces.
Have you experienced
public humiliation or rejection by someone who likes to criticize or trash-talks
when there are others around? Do you feel humiliated when someone puts you down
to make them self seem better or more important/superior?
If your answer is yes, be
rest assured you’re not alone. Putting others down is one of the strategies used
by those who are insecure. Somehow, humiliating you in front of others and
embarrassing you makes them feel better about themselves or gives them temporal
confidence and one of such is a manipulative partner. This behavior could be
psychological too.
Ever
wondered why people humiliate each other? The truth is that most people who humiliate others are really having
insecurity issues and they
don’t know their behavior isn’t seen the way they want
it to be seen. Most of them think they’ll make more friends by appearing smart
and funny by humiliating/bulling others.
The reality is that people
who humiliate others can’t handle it when they’re humiliated too but that
doesn't undo the hurt and pain they caused their victims.
Effects Of Public Humiliation
The
effects of public humiliation are enormous as those who have been the object of this type of
behavior know it’s an awkward position to be in and may become speechless,
uncomfortable and develop low self-esteem. It might even cause them to become
withdrawn and self-conscious around the people who previously witnessed their
humiliation. Counseling may be required if certain body parts or body shaming
is involved.
Here are the tips on dealing with public
humiliation
Note that it’s not a good
idea to try to out-humiliate someone who’s humiliating you right there because
it will only get worse as it escalates, makes you more venerable and it doesn’t
make you any smarter. Actually, this attitude will drag you down to the
other person’s level except you’re super smart.
1. Stop the discussion/walk
away.
If you are deeply embarrassed
and stocked in, it’s best you end the discussion and take a walk to allow your
head clear. But there’s a risk walking away and you should not bother yourself
with it ‘Gossip’. The risk is the temptation for those left behind to gossip
about you except it was just two of you. But if they do gossip, then it
reflects more on their character than yours and you might want to watch the
kind of friends you keep.
2. Change the subject matter.
Note that while you can’t
make the person take back what was said, you can change the topic of discussion
hoping they’ll take the hint - distraction. You might have to change the
subject more than once for it to work if it’s just the two of you. But with a
third party, chances are that someone will back you up and flow with the new
topic.
3. Pay no attention to them.
One thing you should
consider doing is to ignore the person like they’re not there when they “throw
shades at you,” and talk right over them. Trust me it’s like flashing their
negative attitude back at them without saying a word and it pears like a sword
to the heart. Note: you might be tagged rude, unless it is obvious to everyone
around what the person did and what you’re doing.
4. Tell them to stop immediately.
You might see that the
person doesn’t realize what they’re doing is totally wrong. So if you think
that is the case, call them out right there on the spot and let them know what
they’re doing is wrong and could become harmful. Watch it so you don’t behave the
same way toward them.
5. Draw their attention.
With reference to #4, you
can also try being more diplomatic when you tell the person how uncomfortable you
feel with their behavior. Simply tell them you need to discuss something urgent
and privately with them. With this, you’ve gotten their totality and you’re at
a vantage point. Once it’s just the two of you, explain how humiliated you feel
when they say those things and you’d be glad if they’d stop humiliating you.
6. Laugh along with the humiliation.
It takes some self confidence/boldness
to laugh
along with humiliation when someone
pokes fun at you in public. Laughing along with the humiliation will help diffuse
the situation pretty quickly. This quick response from you will let others know
that you don’t take yourself too seriously and you’re way mentally matured than
the one humiliating you. But there’s a downside of this if the humiliation is
cruel or something you don’t want others to know about because this tactic
won’t do the job.
7. Stay away from the person.
Look at it from another
angle; why do you keep hanging out with someone who derives pleasure
humiliating you? Life’s too short to continue putting yourself in position all
the time. Being humiliated continuously has a way of resetting how you think
about yourself. You think you’re fat because some unserious and jealous person
said so whereas you’re just perfect. They’ll make you feel you’re the worst in
class not knowing you’re the smartest and most favored.
Note that it’s up to you
whether or not you want to tell them if they asked why you’re avoiding them. But
if you choose to, do it in private so you won’t feel guilty of embarrassing the
person too.
8. Say sorry if
you’re called out for being in the wrong.
It is hard for most people
to say they’re sorry for their wrong doing. Just the way you expect an apology
from the one you call out, so also you should apologize if you’re the one
called out. It’s okay to apologize and take back what you said and move
on. Try as much as possible not to humiliate others so they won’t feel terrible
about themselves and wish they could be anywhere but there.
9. Turn the behavior around subtly.
This method is very
effective and puts the person on the spot immediately. When someone embarrasses
you publicly, just turn that behavior around subtly by saying “Are you having a bad time?” “Why did you just say
that?” or “Do you think what you just said will solve the problem or create
more?” trust me, the humiliation will transfer back to the person immediately. Once
again you’ve proved you’re far mature than they are.
10. Surround yourself with well mannered and nice people.
The people you surround yourself
with play a major role in your life. Find people who are nice, well behaved and
wouldn’t think about humiliating you publicly. Though there’s always a Judas in
the Twelve, but you’ll have enough support to deal with them. You might not
have to say or do anything because your other friends will deal with such behavior
squarely on your behalf.
Picture: Pexels
Effects Of Public Humiliation And How To Deal With It
Reviewed by Juilal
on
16:18
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Reviewed by Juilal
on
16:18
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