One of the things people fail to learn in marriage is that to have a good relationship, you need to learn how to live with another person. A good marriage does not happen by default. Else it won’t be fun living together as couples.
If you
have ever accommodated someone at your apartment or if you lived with your significant
other for long while dating, you’d realize learning to live with another person
goes beyond romantic or physical attraction. It could be one of the most challenging
task ever and this is the reality of married life.
It
sounds easy to live with another person but those married can without doubt relate
to the point I am making.
For
instance, you lived alone for some years before you got married. Hence you were
used to living on your own for a sometime right?
So you
ate whenever you liked. You slept whenever you liked. You enjoyed uninterrupted
sleep. Suddenly
you’re married and so suddenly, things have changed. You can no longer enjoy
uninterrupted sleep, eat whenever you liked, do the laundry ones a month, etc.
If you’re
quick to wake up to reality, the better for you too.
Now you
realize you have to adjust to living with most certainly someone with totally
different ideology belief or family rituals.
You
wanted the house arranged in a certain way, your Significant other wants it the
other way round. So you too must meet half-way.
Possibly
you hate having the air conditioning system on for a long time for any reason
while your partner loves it on till eternity, you have to reach a concession.
It is
always a big change for everyone in the early days of marriage because you have
to learn how to live with another person since you were used to taking your own
decisions and doing your thing whenever and in any way you wanted.
As a
new wife/husband, you have to consider your partner on virtually everything. Yes,
you’d preferred to always have your way but not so in marriage.
You could
not always have your way because you’re not married to yourself. You must
realize you’re dealing with another human being.
There
are times you don’t feel like eating the whole day but you have to consider your
partner.
There
are times it won’t be convenient for your partner to do certain things for you but
they have to think about you/your happiness.
It’s
a different phase when kids start coming. You still have to adjust to living
with them. it’s really a different ball game with kids plus more financial commitment.
As a
new couple, you're used to sleeping and waking up when you want or as agreed. But
with a new child, you get to wake up when you really don’t want to.
The
balance in marriage is that you’re not going to have your way 100 percent of
the time even with the best commutation and award winning partner.
You have
to consider your spouse and children in your decision making for EVER!
If
you are going into marriage with the mindset that you're going to be looking
into each other's eyes every night over candlelight dinner, have scented
flowers delivered to you in bed every morning, no conflicts at home, be treated
like egg all the time, etc, you must be kidding. You sure need to wake up to
reality. Every good relationship out there is a product of hard work, conscious
decision making by individuals and collectively as a family. It doesn’t mean there
won’t be quarrels and fighting but how you handle those situations is all that
mater.
Love is
a beautiful thing. But it’s not always so.
There's
a reality to married life beyond the 'and they lived happily ever after' like you
see in movies. They often show you two people walking off into a beautiful
house or ride in a boat to an island but they end the movie right there with
everyone cheering and never show what happens after that.
Note:
A good marriage does not happen by default and this is why good character is
very important when it comes to marriage. You just can't rely only on feelings.
The
wedding day is just the beginning of another chapter. Have you thought of what
you’re going to write here? If you want
the best out of this chapter, then you have to make sacrifices, walk in love,
forgive, communicate properly and ask questions were you don’t understand, etc?
Don’t
forget to ask for divine help too.
Picture:
Pexels
The Reality Of Marriage And How To Get The Balance
Reviewed by Juilal
on
19:23
Rating:
Reviewed by Juilal
on
19:23
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