Why Do Good People Have Bad Relationships?

There are individuals who stomach being screamed at or insulted by their significant other. This indicates that the relationship isn’t healthy especially when such occurrences are frequent. Nevertheless, when it’s suggested that they take a break from each other (temporary separation), they strongly refuse such proposals.

Such people truly love their partner and can actually do anything for them. They’re protective of their partner. They might attack those who voice their concerns over their relationship.

In helping those in toxic relationships, the first step is understanding why they stay in toxic relationship.

Read: 17 Signs You Are In A Toxic Relationship And Need To Move Out

Here are five reasons that people stay in toxic relationships.

1. Self denial by lowered standards.

Those who stay in toxic relationships may have lowered their standards. For instance: they over exaggerate the smallest positive actions of their partner while minimizing the insensitive things they do.

They obviously delude themselves into thinking the relationship isn’t bad as perceived from the outside. Self denial is a defense mechanism used excessively in a toxic relationship.

2. They have a controlling or manipulative partner.

Most people stay in toxic relationships because they’re afraid of what their partner will do to them or their children if they walk out of the relationship.  Controlling or manipulative partners are good at the use of emotional abuse to make their partner feel guilty, ashamed, and inferior and sometimes question their own sanity.

Read: Signs And How To Fix A Manipulative Relationship

Read: 12 Early Signs of a Manipulative Woman You Should Not Ignore

3. Those that stay in bad relationships are contented.

In a study on women’s decisions about staying in or leaving a relationship, the single most important determinant was relationship satisfaction.

Its’ obvious if you grew up in a home where there was chaos or you had an abusive parent, you may associate love with such environment (chaos and abuses). So, your point of view of what is “normal” or “satisfactory” in a relationship will be different than if you grew up in a healthy loving family or environment.

4. Reduced self-esteem.

The moment people realize they have a better alternative to a toxic relationship, they’ll be more likely to leave or get a professional help.

But, if your self-esteem has been reduced to nothing, you may doubt your self-worth (self-esteem) and see less available options for you.

Those that easily break out of such dilemma are those with great support system such as family members or strong willed friends who truly understands you.

Read: 14 Causes, Effects and Healing Of Low Self-esteem

5. When you have shared income and years of emotional investments

It’s really not easy to walk out of a relationship if you have shared income and years of emotional investment with a partner.

From study, when you’ve experienced years of emotional abuse, it’s very hard to think logically. At this critical point, you’re just in to survive and not making decisions that are based on what you should do. All your heart tell you is the need to survive.

To overcome toxic relationships, first of all, you need to admit you need help, then talk to your family and friends or at least a friend. They’ll provide you with the emotional support you need.

You need support before healing can begin. Professional help can help through the process of healing. Professionals will help you with a workable plan to keep everyone safe during this trying times. Some partners could go a-wire when they feel their partner is trying to get help and break out of their grip.

It is important to keep the conversation focused on your friend if you noticed they’re in a toxic relationship and not their partner. This is because they’ll defend their partner.

Read: How To Build Emotional Intimacy In A New Relationship

When you’re focused on the person, gradually point out why you think the two of them are not too good for each other by pointing out their differences in values, etc. but values should be strongly stressed.

From study, with such approach, people become less defensive and more likely to pay attention to your warnings.

Show them the benefits of getting professional help/counseling and a workable plan to get them out of the relationship unto safety.

All relationships have ups and downs. But whom you share your life with should not leave you feeling discouraged and worthless

Read: The Negative Effect Of A Toxic Relationship

Confide in someone and begin the process of freeing yourself and your kids if you have any from a toxic situation.

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