Think about relationships this way:
(A) - Regardless of who you are, relationships tend
to go something like this: you meet and greet, you fall for each other, and you
end up dating. After a while, you grow apart for various reasons, and one of
you gets dumped.
(B) - You have a huge argument, the one that makes
every single thing about the relationship different, but for some reasons, you
never broke up, which is very rare though. But since most people will break up
at least once while they’re together, especially after a big argument. After
some time, you make up, work on things seriously and eventually mature as a healthy
couple. Unless you just never get back together.
Read: 11 Signs He Is Willing To Change
Why
your relationship isn’t progressing
What could possibly be standing in the way of your
relationship -moving on to the next level? Here are 10 possible reasons.
1. One of you feels like you haven’t accomplished purpose
or made enough progress in life. This is mostly attributed to men. That
statement is half true. Women feel the same too, but slightly different. Women
want to be successful and accomplish certain career or other goals too but most
won’t turn down a proposal if they haven’t accomplished those goals yet. Though
they will wish it had happened a little later. Everyone wants to get certain
things done before getting married.
2. One of you don’t feel that “rush” since “you’ll
be together forever.” Though, it’s a fact that you’ll be together forever and
everyone knows about the rush. Everyone reaches an age where their friends are
getting married. Then, it’s like a giant race to married life. Meanwhile,
others feel the pressure to reach a certain stage in a relationship.
Every relationship has its own rhythm. Whatever your
version of the “rush” is, one of you isn’t on the same page, not out of any
negative feelings, but because they know you’re the one. It’s like saying “I
love you, and know you’re the one for me, but because of that same reason, I
don’t feel the need to rush, so let’s sit here and enjoy the standstill for a
while.” Hilarious right? In all honesty, it’s both annoying and romantic.
3. Fear of commitment. For long-term relationships,
which are the ones that get to the standstill part, obviously, it’s common to
have a fear of commitment.
Chances are, you’ve been together for awhile. What
if you are afraid of taking a bigger step, since the whole long-term thing
seems pretty long. Not everyone feels this way, but it is pretty common.
4. With reference to #3, you’ve simply have not sat
down to talk about what the next step means in your relationship. That level of
communication isn’t open yet and sooner or later, you still have to talk about
it. It’s not that you don’t want to talk about it, though it could be.
If you’ve been together for years, then yes, you can
have a much more serious talk. You’ve invested so much time already, and
clearly, you feel like the next step isn’t coming fast enough. Opening that
level of communication is important.
5. Insecurity. Think about this, is your partner
feeling jealous of your colleague at work? Are you wondering if your partner still
finds you attractive as they once did? Do you feel less important in the
relationship? Do one of you feels like they’re just not worthy of the other
anymore?
Insecurity in relationship brings things to a halt.
It’s basically prevents access to the next phase in the relationship. If you or
your partner is unsure about something, it’s best to lay it out clearly, and
resolve the issue as soon as possible.
Read: Important Rules To Make A Relationship Last Long
6. Finances. If you don’t have enough money, you
can’t move in together, can’t go on as many date nights, can’t get married,
can’t plan a family, can’t take that first vacation together. Money is important
in any relationship.
If you’ve been with your partner for years and
you’re both broke, chances are, that dream of moving in together won’t come to
reality anytime soon.
7. Growing apart, but not knowing what to do about
it. With reference to #5 and #6, insecurity and finance can make partner grow
apart gradually.
There’s a stereotype that when you’re with someone
and you don’t see eye-to-eye anymore, you simply grow apart. In reality, most
people have a tough time with this. Even if your partner is completely
different from what they were two months ago, you still have the feelings, the
memories, and the desire to make it work. Only, you don’t know what to do about
the situation.
8.
Relationship issues need to be sorted out and not bottled up. This is the most
common of all reasons. It could be that you, your partner, or both of you feel
like there are things you need to take care of within the relationship, before
taking the big step to the next stage.
It could be that your partner
has issues opening up to you. It could be that you aren’t entirely truthful all
the time. It could be that you both argue too much, over little things. It
could be anything! If it’s taken a toll on your relationship, there’s a good
possibility that it’s the reason you’re at a standstill.
9. One of you is still hanging onto youth a little
longer or feels too young for commitment. Two separate methods of reasoning
about the same thing. Hanging onto youth means you know, even subconsciously,
that you should grow up. Your age says so. Your relationship more so. And yet,
you just don’t want to let go. You want to be able to stay out till dawn and
make poor choices.
10. Taking things for granted. One, or both of you,
could be making the mistake of taking things for granted. It could be that
you’ve been together for so long, you assume they won’t leave. It could be
you’ve come to expect a certain treatment from your partner because you’re so
used to it.
Read: How To Deal With A Dry Texter
Whatever you’ve gotten used to, one or both of you
has reached the “I expect it”
zone, rather than the “you didn’t have to, but thank you” zone. You may even feel
like you expect them to be there, even if you slack off on responsibilities.
You might throw priorities away, since they have their situation organized.
Surely, they’ll take care of things for you. No. This is leading to a
standstill because your partner isn’t your parent.
Relationships are made up of several stages, and
every single person has their own perception of the right pace. No two people
are exactly the same, so why should it be different with relationships?
Relationships aren’t supposed to be one event after
another. There will be pauses and lulls, and that’s where the feeling of being
at a standstill comes in. However, you must understand that relationship
standstills aren’t always a bad thing. Sometimes, they’re just a pause before
the next big event arrives in your lives.
Picture: Pexels
Reviewed by Juilal
on
14:23
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