We live in a world that is consume with who has the best Instagram pictures, who has the best and latest style, best makeup tips to enhance your natural beauty bla!! which indirectly reinforces low self-esteem amongst women.
I am not against women looking hot, it is knowing where to strike the balance that is the issue among most ladies. Women have a tendency to emulate the idea into believing that somehow looking a certain way translates into people loving you more, which is so wrong. Unfortunately, this is the type of society we find ourselves. Society paints a picture of how people (women) should look (appearance) and act (behavior, character). Her walk is even questioned.
Read: 20 Best Ways To Keep Him Totally Hooked In
It is not a bad idea to post pictures and staying fit is great too but becoming obsessed over the attention is not a good idea. This is one of the major reasons women go through a lot just to look beautiful and remain attractive.
Everyone has their insecurities; flaws are what make us who we are. But the continuous description of how women should look can really affect your self-esteem, especially if you don’t have a mind of your own.
Being self-aware is a good thing and being confident in your own skin is amazing.
Below is a list of 15 things a good number of women feel insecure about:
1.
Acne.
What is Acne? Acne is a skin condition, usually of the face, that is common in adolescents. It is characterized by red pimples and is caused by the inflammation of sebaceous glands through bacterial infection. There is a pattern of blemishes in an area of skin resulting from the skin condition.
Ladies constantly gaze at themselves in the mirror, they don’t mind spending several minutes or hours obsessing over any red bumps they find on their face and other parts of their bodies.
Ladies worry the most about acne than guys do, which is why half the time they load up tons of makeup just to cover up the unwanted little bumps or sometimes, scars.
Yes, blemishes suck, but unfortunately, many ladies have to deal with the extreme amount of them and they try just about anything to hide them or get rid of them.
Did you know that resorting to covering your blemishes with makeup can make it worse? Acne is something that a lot of ladies feel insecure about and often they will hide away in their rooms until the darn things go away.
Some ladies, there really isn't anything much you can do to get rid of them.
Suggestion for acne includes: washing your face when you wake up and before you go to bed is something that can reduce acne. By using warm water over the affected area to rinsing with cold water, this helps alleviate the swelling.
Many people hate talking about their acne because to them it is embarrassing and isn't a topic they want to share with others.
It is worth noting that beauty and youthfulness are only temporary. People should be gravitating towards simplicity instead of we worrying about how they look and the amount of makeup they need to cover up their true beauty.
Read: 17 Ways To Make Your Girlfriend Feel Loved
2.
The size of their boobs.
Whether your boobs are enormous or not, you are unsatisfied. All thanks to gravity. Women's boobs come in all shapes and sizes and there is no determining factor if you will grow to have them big or small.
In our society today, being flat up there can be uncomfortable for some ladies and cause them to become insecure, leading to low self-esteem.
Unfortunately, ladies with bigger chests are just as insecure as ladies with a shortage of them.
A school of thought believe that if their mothers and their mother's mother's (their grandmother) have big boobs, then they will grow to have them big too. Unfortunately, studies have shown that this isn't always the case. Genetics play a big part in your size, genes from your mother as well as genes from your father can play some contribution to your size.
Having bigger boobs can be an insecurity because they can often lead to pains (back pains), difficulty finding cute bras and when working out they giggle everywhere which can cause soreness which leads to not having much fun. Giggle from big chest causes stares which can make some ladies pretty uncomfortable.
Learning to embrace the size you were given is a beautiful thing, still, some women feel the need to enhance their size in order to feel more confident within themselves. This isn't necessarily a bad thing but it is definitely an insecurity that many women deal with day after day.
Read: 12 Ways To Bond With Your Partner For Better Relationship
3.
Weight.
Thanks to our modern society where programs and product about weight loss is the other of the day, projecting slim ladies as the perfect body type for women. Most women are insecure about their weight, due over emphasis placed on slim ladies as the ideal body for women.
Women always want to be skinnier, it does not matter how gorgeous they are when they look into the mirror. They become self-conscious and believe they are overweight just because they saw a skinny model, turning to the right and the left to ask anyone who cares how they look. They don’t mind asking several people if they are “fat”.
Lots of ladies constantly search for the latest, newest and best diet programs. Unfortunately, women often forget that their bodies are different and that someone who looks thin may have a difficult time gaining weight whereas others it may be difficult to lose the weight. The bottom-line is to appreciate how you look each day, keeping fit and healthy.
4.
How they look in pictures / am I
photogenic?
Social media is just the perfect tool to conceal your true self. People do so many things to the pictures they post on their socials and some ladies fall for it. They are made to believe that how you appear on your social media photos is equal how you look in real life.
Women feel most insecure about their bodies already coupled with how they look in their photos, it’s really crazy. Most ladies take photos with the mindset of that’s how they really appear and that’s what they will be remembered by and not their kindness to humanity.
Ladies put a lot of efforts into looking good for just one selfie. It’s insane right? They don’t mind taking hundreds of selfies and only post one photo of them. ever asked yourself why?
Many ladies worry if they have the right filter, they erase any blemishes and perfect caption for the shot. You could be scrolling through the internet or social media and you notice a photo and you instantly think "wow that’s perfection!" and though she may be beautiful but that doesn't mean she looks like that every other day.
For some ladies, the world today means they have to have their eyebrows on fleek, have the right or perfect contour and lips at all times. This attitude has led to great insecurity amongst women especially if you go to a place and photos are being taken, you may feel like an outcast.
Looking good is good, but don’t let it get into your head. You’re actually beautiful the way you are. All you need do is work on your self-confidence.
Read: 11 Shocking Signs That Prove You Are In Love
5.
Age.
Age is one topic both sexes don’t really want to talk about. When you are a little girl all you can imagine is what it would be like to be older, you imagine all the great things you will be able to do – right?
At eighteen you’re an adult and at twenty-one, you can finally have a taste of alcohol which is close to the taste of freedom in some countries.
As you slowly start aging, at twenty-three according to Blink, no one really likes you, at twenty-five, you can rent a car, and before you know it you are thirty and if you aren't married yet you wonder what are you doing with your life?
As a woman, this can make you very insecure when you watch everyone around you speed through life and you wish you could be little again. Age for women is more of an insecurity regarding life experiences, women fear that with age it could lead to the end of their career as well as their dating life.
The older you get the more you notice your friends are all married or have kids and if you're still single it could really give you some major anxiety. Women want to look younger and they often become jealous of other women, they constantly try to maintain a healthy diet or products as if they can somehow fight the aging process.
By the time you hit your late 20's women become pressurized to be married and have their lives all figured out, it is no secret that women all over the world dread the idea of getting older and tend to be a little sensitive when it comes to the topic.
Read: 11 Little Things You Do That Can End Your Relationship
6.
Beauty.
Beauty, attractiveness, good looks, prettiness, gorgeousness, just name it. Ladies are always comparing themselves to each other; "her hair is so long and luscious", "how and why is she so fit?".
They criticize and obsess over the characterization of beauty. Ladies aren't comparing themselves because they are shallow minded, no, far from it. Often, it is way deeper.
The reality is that women at all level crave for attention one way or the other. They get fanatical over the best makeup. They crave to have Kylie Jenner lips, Kim Kardashian curves/hips and FYI big lips that is obviously not natural.
It
is worth to note that celebrities have their insecurities too. Forget about how
glamorous they look almost all the time.
Ladies are quick to categorize themselves the moment they meet each other. They easily group themselves based on their own perceptions. They see the different levels of physical attractiveness the moment another woman steps into the room.
Have you noticed ladies tend to treat others differently based on their appearances rather than who they really are? This attitude can have a major effect on women's self-esteem.
7.
Intellectual capacity.
Intellectual means: having the power of understanding, having capacity for the higher forms of knowledge or thought characterized by intelligence or mental capacity as an intellectual person - according to The English Dictionary. This means that Intellectual ability refers to how the mind operates.
Many women have anxiety over whether or not their level of understanding intellectual matters such as math, physics, politics, history and so forth matches that of their partners. Women are extremely sensitive for fear of being judged by others.
Women become insecure about their intellectual grasp on certain matters, they fear if they say something wrong or something comes across as dumb people will judge them immediately. They worry that their opinions will be misinterpreted and this could lead to coming off as shallow.
Women get anxiety over their partner thinking they aren't smart enough for them, they constantly feel that men think of them as Barbie dolls this can bring up some major insecurity among women. Knowing all your facts and being able to carry on an intellectual conversation is key.
Women think about their intellectual abilities not just between them and their partner but also friends, co-workers and those they come in contact with each day.
8.
Being “too nice”.
A lot of people struggle with whether they should voice their opinions or not when starting out a new relationship. At the same time, you don't want to push your partner's buttons. Sometimes, being too nice can actually lead to being taken advantage of leading to insecurity in most people.
Women who have experienced being 'too nice' have been told that they allow people to walk all over them. Being too nice can make people think that their actions no longer have consequences because to you they could do no wrong. Women become insecure as to whether they should speak up or just go with the flow.
You can use your voice and not allow people to walk all over you while still remaining true to yourself as being too nice. Being good to others isn't a bad thing but the truth is that some people aren't as good as you are and they seek out your vulnerability and use it against you.
"No matter what happens in life be good to people” - Taylor Swift. Being good to people is a wonderful legacy to leave behind." Now if you are a sweet and caring person, don't ignore those amazing qualities, however finding your own voice will help build your insecurity back. The truth is that most nice people don't know how to say no. Learning what to say will help you conquer your fear and regain your confidence.
9.
Physical intimacy.
Often women wonder if their bedroom proficiency is up to same level with their partner and they fear that their partner will become uninterested if they don’t match-up.
Physical intimacy is more than just that matching up sexually. It is about shared emotion, a strong connection between you two, you become physical to show them how much you love them. It is a beautiful thing when you are enjoying it with the one you love and there is no reason to be some professional at it. Your partner won't expect that from you as long as you two are honest there is no reason to feel insecure.
Women crave intimacy in their relationships and want to feel more connected to their man, knowing that he isn't just pretending to be into her just so he can be intimate with her. Physical intimacy for women is allowing themselves to be completely vulnerable, they want to be able to please their partner but at the same time be respected and appreciated.
Read: 27 Tips to Sweet Talk And Make Him Like You
10.
Style.
Style is who you really are without having to speak. It is like other voice that speaks while you are silent. Ladies constantly feel as if they need some sort of re-validation.
A lot of people like to assume that women dress to impress men, which is true to an extent. Though men don't really care about what you are wearing if they like you and find you attractive. Women dress to impress other women too “it is a serious competition among some women”. This is a true fact that has been brought down from generation after generation.
You see a girl walk pass you, you notice her shoes and instantly fall in love… smiles-- your first thought is to ask where she got them and probably compliment her style.
Style can have negative effects on people with low self-esteem. Some people may be jealous of your flawless taste while others will just look at you and wonder if a rainbow threw up on you or if you forgot to look in the mirror.
Not having your style up to balance can be a major insecurity for most ladies. From generation to generation, women secretly love the idea of other women being jealous of their taste or fashion sense. Women also love “labels”, anything that screams designer and they’re all over it.
Funny enough women always dress to kill. It’s funny too that it hasn't kill the insecurities in them. even the well dressed is not 100% sure of themselves and that’s why most of them fall for little compliment.
11.
Attractiveness.
The feeling of meeting the one you thought could be the man of your dreams suddenly considers you undeserving. This can be a demoralizing and make you think that you are unattractive.
We all want to find that someone that takes our breath away and makes us feel like the most important person in the world but often the one you want doesn't always feel the same. Same thing goes for guys.
For women, they feel a sense of vulnerability more than man do. Being unloved, undeserving, and unattractive is a woman's worst nightmare, women crave the ability to be desirable by men and unfortunately, they are in a constant battle of measuring themselves up with the desirability of other women around them or on socials.
Being undesirable is one of the top insecurities that women have. Little they feel the need to be constantly reassured by men that they are desirable for more than just their body.
Most women need physical attention and it’s no wonder they feel most insecure when they believe men don't desire them for not only who they are but also how they look.
Women tend to dwell on the qualities they lack rather than focusing on what they do have.
12.
Career.
Being a housewife was the most important thing to women back in the days. Women didn't have careers. It seems there was no need to have one. It was just the norm. But now, the story line has changed.
Women strive to be the best versions of themselves and they now have dreams and goals that they work to achieve unlike the past. Hence, some women have their careers started between the ages of 21-25 or even at younger ages, so when you are 25 and still have no clue where your life is going, it can be really traumatic for most women.
Men have come to love independent, determined and intelligent women, so when your life isn't so put together especially in its career part, it can definitely have a negative effect.
Women worry about where they stand in the work place just as men do. They are worried about not having a job, etc. Women are actually on the nastier side of things because they are expected to be able to balance their careers, family, and household duties. This is a major insecurity because women feel they have to constantly prove themselves and if any issue appears in their family matters it is usually them that have to sacrifice their careers.
13.
Cellulite/dimpled appearances.
The thing is that men actually rarely notice the little imperfections on your skin. Women tend to exaggerate the proportions of the imperfections they find on their skin. Stop being obsessed over stretch marks and cellulite and any small dimples you find on your face or other areas of your body.
It is actually fascinating to think or see women stress themselves over these minor glitches to their bodies when in fact they can actually reduce many of them. Some women will buy into the hundreds of dollars worth of creams that they see on TV commercials stating how they will get rid of your cellulite or dimpled areas when you can actually get rid of them by using oranges (orange peels and or orange juice)
Read: 14 Reasons Why Men Lose Interest In Relationship
14.
What his friends think about you.
When starting a new relationship the pressure to impress the guy and his friends can be overwhelming. Women want to be on the same wavelength with their partner's friends, and if they aren't, there comes the fear that their new man may be saying uncomplimentary things about them and this might make her ask all the time what he discussed with his friends which could be annoying sometimes.
Men want their friends to like the girl they are seeing, right? Things can get sticky if there is tension. It isn't fair that whether you guys work out or not could be put in the hands of their friends but unfortunately it is very common among both sexes.
Getting to know his friends and putting forth that effort will help ease the anxiety of whether they like you or not. Look at it this way, he likes you so how could his friends not? Although it is easier said than done, dwelling on impressing his friends should not be your major concern. After all, you are dating him not his friends. Show his friends how awesome you are and how even though you are a girl and are sensitive at times and like girly things does not mean that you can't sit back. As humans, we all get insecure from time to time, but knowing your worth will help his friends see how great you are.
15. Constant Comparison.
"His ex was so pretty - can I match-up?" The constant comparison between yourself and other women can really put a damper on not only your relationships but your overall self-esteem.
His
ex may be prettier, but they broke up for a reason and he chose you. Comparison
could also be the feeling that you aren't as perfect as other women and this
can mess with your confidence.
Comparing yourself to other women like his ex, his new girlfriend, your friends, his female friends, or even strangers is like adding fuel to the fire.
As many women have this insecurity it is best not to compare yourself to others as it can turn you into a monster no one want to associate with. It is best to live your life the way you are and nothing or no one can change that, but always crave to be a better person and not comparison.
Picture: Pexels
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